My adrenaline rushes at the approach of a writing competition. For years, creativity through words and story craft has been my passion. I believe God implanted it in me, and I look forward to seeing what He’ll do with it. NaNoWriMo is a communal venue, outlet, for me; and as many summers as I’ve done the month-long challenge, I’ve enjoyed it more than any other non-class writing endeavor.
So, you’re probably wondering why I’m quitting. Yes, that’s the word. ‘Fess up time: I thought I had more availability, and ability, than I ended up having. But there’s a more important reason, or else I don’t think I would write a blog post about dropping out of what could be extremely beneficial…
I’ve been realizing something lately: That I don’t make time for God. Not the penciled-in, I-know-I-need-to-do-this time (because that’s been my mindset lately), but the I-love-and-need-and-am-learning-to-trust-You time. Less legalism and more easy, restful communion. With almost three hours of drive time daily, and more homework than I think I’ve ever had, I’ve gotten caught up in doing work for God instead of making Him my first priority, and building my personal relationship with Him. Maybe you can relate. I forget constantly that relationship and heart is more important to Jesus than works and results. I realize I need to re-prioritize my time.
So, I’ll still be working on my beloved story. I’ll still hopefully be finding and protecting creative spheres of time. I just need to lay off one burden, focus on school, and put God above school, for now.
Psalm 52 contrasts the wicked’s reliance on their own riches (and efforts) with the child of God, who finds refuge and safety in Him. Verse 9 says, “I will give You thanks forever, because you have done it, and I will wait on Your name, for it is good, in the presence of Your godly ones” (ESV).
I want to make room for Jesus, not just for Him to do things with my life, but to be the top of it. So many people, myself included, work from a place of not fully realizing their acceptance, sanctified position, and loving intimacy with Christ. For me, being in that posture requires taking a couple steps back, and NaNoWriMo and its word counts is one of them this time.
Have you ever had to come to a hard realization, or give something up for your own mental, emotional, and/or spiritual health? I love you guys—thanks for your support. Leave me a comment, and have a great day. 🙂